The other day, I met up with a friend for a walk around a local trail. As we strolled, I filled her in on all the exciting things happening with Solo Agers Connect — the inspiring people I’ve been meeting, how the coffee socials are turning into these great little gatherings full of laughter and stories.

She listened politely, and then hit me with this: “Have you met anyone new to date?”

I blinked. Seriously? Are we still stuck in some high school loop where everything circles back to finding a date for prom?

Look, I’m not against love. But I’m also not out here scouting for a boyfriend at this age. I’ve gotten pretty comfy in my own skin — more so as I’ve gotten older. And while the world still seems to expect everyone to be part of a couple, I’m just not buying into that narrative anymore.

Everywhere you turn, things are built for pairs: financial planning, long-term care decisions, vacation packages (don’t get me started on solo travel penalties). I’m having nothing against couples. But when you’re not part of one, the constant couple-focus can get a little… well, irritating.

At what point does a solo ager get to feel like we are enough, just as we are? I’m not saying there’s no room for companionship. It would be nice to have a travel buddy, a dinner date, or “plus one” for an event or family wedding. But I’m also not going to live as though I’m only half a person until someone shows up to complete me. I’d rather have a “plus none” than let life pass me by.

The truth — especially for women — is that more than 80% of us will end up alone. I’ve met plenty of solo travelers whose partners simply have no interest in travel. And then there’s the wave of “gray divorce,” and, of course, widowhood. Life has a way of placing people into the solo lane, sometimes unexpectedly and later in life.

For couples who are happy — I truly celebrate them. I’m happy they’ve found their rhythm together. But for me, I never felt pulled toward having children and the house with the picket fence lifestyle. Honestly, it always felt limiting. I’ve always been fiercely independent — the kind of person who enjoys her own company and values solitude, creative space, and friendships that exist outside a romantic relationship. Maybe that’s generational. Or maybe I just haven’t dated anyone 25 years younger to test the theory!

What I have discovered is the beauty of a life I get to shape fully on my own terms. I don’t have to compromise on what show to stream, what or when to eat, or which holiday traditions to observe. Last Christmas, I went on a solo travel adventure overseas — and it was amazing. When I got back, I hosted a cozy little New Year’s brunch for close family. It was the perfect balance for a low-stress, post-holiday gathering.

Now, don’t get me wrong — solo living has its challenges. No one’s around to help carry the heavy stuff or troubleshoot a plumbing problem. Financial planning takes more effort when you’re building wealth on one income. And for those who crave companionship, it can feel isolating at times. Plus, travel costs more when you go it alone, and making new friends takes a little extra energy. Let’s face it — couples rarely invite solo women to tag along.

For me, living solo has worked out just fine. I’ve built new friendships, said goodbye to others, and faced the occasional curveball — a new ache here, a friend’s illness there. Aging solo isn’t dull, I’ll tell you that much.

Looking ahead, I plan to stay active and travel while I can. In another decade, I imagine myself slowing down a bit, diving into hobbies, maybe getting a dog. (Note to self: make sure my estate plan includes care for my future pup.)

So, back to that question my friend asked: “Have you met someone?”

Maybe the better question is — do I need to?

The answer, at least for me, is no.

Because here’s the truth I’ve come to embrace as a Solo Ager: I am enough. And that is more than okay. It’s empowering.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Learn more about the author of this blog article, Jill Kovalich, founder of SoloAgersConnect HERE.