If you’re anticipating spending the holidays on your own, these tips may help you discover how to not feel lonely. The holidays are often seen as a season of love, joy, and togetherness. But this isn’t the case for everyone, especially Solo Agers.

When you find yourself alone and emotionally or physically distanced from family and friends, there are a few ways to manage when spending the holidays alone.

It’s natural to feel lonely, sad, or unmotivated, especially if this is a new experience for you, or you’re experiencing a loss. But you may want to consider lifting some of that weight off your shoulders and exploring ways to make navigating the holidays easier for you.

Tradition and Expectations

TV shows, movies, and now social media constantly show you images of what an “ideal” holiday season looks like. Because of this, it can be easy to feel as though you’re not measuring up when spending the holidays alone.

Do you feel that you must be with a group to observe a holiday in a traditional way? Consider creating your own tradition. Maybe you should make the day all about you. Do something you enjoy or give your time to others.

The bottom line is that there is no one way to experience the holidays.

In fact, just think for a moment about all the ways people spend this time all over the world. Not all cultures involve family gatherings, presents, and similar rituals. People have found other ways to commemorate these dates.

Looking at the holiday season from a different angle may help you remove the emotional pressure. Reassessing your expectations for how the season will go instead of how it should go can help.

Claiming the Holiday Your Way

What if each holiday could be an opportunity to experience something new and different? How would you go about it as an adventure?

This does not mean you have to approach it with a festive attitude, if that’s not how you feel. It doesn’t mean a financial splurge you cannot afford. Maybe it could involve looking at it as an opportunity to do and experience what you need right now.

If you’re going through a difficult time, you could see the holidays as a few days you’ll have to take care of yourself and heal. Perhaps you can take a day or a few days to explore a new experience that won’t last forever. It does not need to mean something specific. It can be what you want it to be.

Yes, that might seem vague or wonderful. Now you’re asking, “What can I do to make this holiday fun or new or turn it into an adventure?” Let’s look at some ways you might find an answer.

Get Lost in Creativity

While festively decorating, baking, or doing holiday-themed arts and crafts are ways to let your creative juices flow, they aren’t the only ways to engage your creativity during the holidays. When you’re spending the holidays alone, it can be easier to shy away from typical traditions or activities. Instead of letting yourself focus on what you are not doing with loved ones this year, consider using your imagination to create new traditions for yourself. This can include any number of things, such as:

• coming up with a memory tribute to those who are no longer by your side
• establishing an annual holiday movie date with a theme and your favorite food (think: Dinner & A Movie)
• doing a cleansing and good luck ritual at home
• doing a themed puzzle
• doing something not holiday-related, like watching a horror movie marathon
• finally starting that home project
• create a ritual of pampering yourself

Plan to Not Go it Alone

Being alone, especially around the holidays, can cause feelings of loneliness. We live in a culture of loneliness and isolation, but you can push back agains that. Reaching out to others can help you regain a sense of connection. Being host puts you in control. It takes some planning, but you can do it. There are many ways to seek out a connection, including:

Settin up a phone call with a friend who is far away. A video call can really be fun! (Zoom, Google Meets, Facetime are great options.

Hosting a few people for a potluck game night. It’s casual and stress-free.

Hosting a pie event. Guests bring pies and everyone votes for their favorite flavor.

Make it All About You

Holidays don’t always have to be about volunteering. Volunteering is a wonderful way to take the focus off yourself and help others in dire circumstances. However, maybe this holiday, you want to tap into a little self-love and self-care and schedule a volunteer experience for another time. Many people volunteer or support food drives around the holiday, but the needs in our communities are 365 days long.

Treating yourself might mean buying an item you’ve had your eye on for a while, visiting a few places you haven’t had time to, or indulging in your favorite dessert. It can mean taking time for yourself, spending time in a favorite location, or participating in another experience that brings you joy. Is there a new hobby you want to cultivate? There’s no time like the present. Many places could be closed on the holiday day, but the day before and after could present some nice opportunities. You might enjoy these:

• Getting out of the house and shopping for a bargain.
• Attending a docent tour at a museum then going out for a special coffee drink and people-watching.
• Spending a few hours browsing in a bookstore in a whole new subject area. Explore travel, metaphysical, hobbies, genealogy, religion.

Whatever you choose, treating yourself with things or experiences that bring you peace and joy can help your mood and let you reconnect with this time of year differently.

You are in Control

If none of these approaches appeal to you, then you still have an option over which you have full control – treat the day like every other day and pay no attention to it. There are many older people who no longer feel the need to eat cake and be the center of attention on their birthdays. That’s perfectly okay. Nobody says we have to observe or celebrate a holiday to make retailers happy. So, however you choose to cruise through the holidays, do it your way. Find your own path to happiness.